GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
