Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I see more hoeing in ur future
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