pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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