the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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