If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
farters have to be the big spoon...
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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