fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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