After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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