Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
