what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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