i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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