New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
