Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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