david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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