lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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