the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
