Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
