In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
