i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
