a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
