I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
