How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
