Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
