He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
