I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
