Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
