Farmville is her only friend.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
