I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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