D3 body, D1 cock
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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