I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
there is puke in my bra ... again
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