just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i think my cat just said my name.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize