i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
