She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
