And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
