Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
