i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
