It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
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