And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
