Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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