I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
