So drunk, too bad you don't want this
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize
