it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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