the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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