would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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