you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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