found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It's blow job season.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
