My liver just broke up with me...
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize