Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
