i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
