I saw his package. It spoke to me.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
