i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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