I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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