yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
