im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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