five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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