you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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