I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Never joke about your clitoris.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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